what do you MEAN it’s inappropriate for gold digger by kanye west to be my wedding song
(via we-arethelosers)
swagtasticswaggiemcswaggyswag:
my mom wont let me name one of our kitten swaggy wtf mom get with it
(via we-arethelosers)
haha thats cool read my message and dont reply ill just burn ur house down and not reply when u tell me to stop
(via we-arethelosers)
fill ur pockets with spaghetti to prevent people from pickpocketing u
(Source: impmon, via we-arethelosers)
i want to start a band called ceiling because then my fans will be called ceiling fans
(via we-arethelosers)
Okay so a guy held a door open and as I was walking I thought in my head ’ thanks mister attractive face” and then he giggled and I realized it wasN’T IN MY HEAD AND HE JUST KEPT GIGGLING LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD
(via nerdsaretotallyawesome)
- mom: ok u wait in line i forgot to get the milk
- me: ok
- me:
- me:
- me:
- me: mom where are you please
- me: mom please the line is moving fast
- me: mom i cant breathe where r u it's almost my turn
- employee: next
- me:
- employee:
- me: faints
*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?
(via we-arethelosers)
why is this whole website suddenly obsessed w/ cotton eyed joe
Yeah like where did it come from where did it go
(via we-arethelosers)
i-wanna-get-in-englands-pants:
the worst fuckin thing is
“oh you sing? are you a good singer? SING SOMETHING FOR ME RIGHT NOW”
“do you draw? you do? DRAW ME”
like no
“you write? MAKE ME A CHARACTER IN YOUR STORY”
“you act? CRY FOR ME RIGHT NOW”
“You speak that language?! Say something in it!”
“you murder? KILL ME RIGHT NOW”
The last one seems more doable
(via takecaution-withlove)
